I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
