somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
