Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize