The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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