i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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