My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
