Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
