listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize