That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
