as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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