Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Two words: blizzard sex
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
