But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
