he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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