remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
