P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
