butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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