you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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