he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
