the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
