I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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