He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
