Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
