u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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