its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
