What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
