Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
