Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
