OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
