i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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