what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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