love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
