two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
