there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
