go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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