Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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