Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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