Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
