are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
