I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize