I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
