There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
