When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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