He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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