What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
