no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
