dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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