i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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