she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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