scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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