that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
