Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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