Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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