You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
