Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
