pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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