I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
