Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
