I am puke
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
They took my balls.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just found out that she named her cat after me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
