Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize