dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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