I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
pray to the hookup gods
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
