im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
