it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
