in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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