You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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