wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just had sex on a roof
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
